Complacency Or The Life-Killer

What if you stopped being satisfied?

How many times in your life have you heard someone say someting along the lines of “Such is life.”? How about “There’s nothing we can do about it.”, or “We just have to accept it.”? If you’re like me, the answer would be way too many times.

I’ve always loathed such sayings with a passion. I couldn’t never really understand why, until I learned about a mindset called complacency. Complacency in this article will be defined as the state of being satisfied with the way things are, even though there is ample room for improvement.

Complacency is so common it could be addressed as another pandemic of its own. In order to eradicate part of this virus from the face of the Earth, I will write about the different faces of complacency, its source, and how to get started with practicing anti-complacency.

The two faces of complacency

1. The one who accepts

The first way complacency can manifest itself is by acknowledging a reality, but failing to acknowledge this reality is problematic. This form of complacency is the most direct and easilly observable, because it mostly comes in the form of of words said directly. Indeed, in the introduction of this article, all of the given examples of complacency represent the “acceptance” approach to life.

One might think such complacency manifests itself only for the little things of life, the ones not really worth getting bothered about, such as wasting time stuck into traffic. It’s nothing really major, and so if “acceptance complacency” stayed within the realm of such small things, it would not be very surprising. However, acceptance complacency is found everywhere, in every possible sphere of life. Let me give you an example of a scene that really took me aback when I heard it, and that I still cannot wrap my head around even today.

When I was a little younger (I was about 15 then), I was sitting in class one day. That day, the teacher suddenly asked : “If we had found a way for people not to get old, do you guys think it would be a good thing to implement?”. I remember we were about 10 people total in this room, so there was ample time for eveyone to say what they thought. Are you ready to be shocked? A staggering 2 out of 10 people thought it would be a good thing. The teacher was not one of them.

The reasons given were just as surprising. No one talked about equality between the riches a the poor, for example, a common argument against extending healthspan (argument that is rebutted wonderfully in this excellent article). No, no one really knew why they thought it would be a bad thing. The only reason that was given by someone, after some thinking time, was that then you couldn’t tell how old someone was by looking at them. “Imagine, you find someone hot in walking on the street, and turns out they’re 62!” I frankly don’t think this argument even needs a rebuttal. My point is that it seemed those people had first decided on their opinion based on what they thought unchangeable, then seeked for reason to justify themselves, a process lacking in rationality. This upside-down process is everywhere. If a kid complains a game is unfair, the adult will say life is unfair. If the kid asks why it has to be unfair in this particular situation where the adult has power, the adult will struggle. They look at reality, decide it’s the only possible way, and make up reasons to seem rational to themselves.

My opinion is that those people are afraid of getting their hope up, so they prepare for disappointment by not expecting anything more out of life. Don’t be like these people. Although it hurts to fall, it should hurt even more not to jump. Who knows, you might end up flying.

2. The one who denies

The second way complacency can manifest itself is through not only not acknowledging a reality is a problem, but not acknowledging the reality at all. This form is mostly observed through actions. How many people are not taking care of their health properly, not exercising, not eating healthy? Globally, about a quarter of the population is doing the former. The latter is harder to quantify, since so many people simply do not have access to nutritious food (so not a case of complacency here). However, from my observations purely (so please do compare it with your own), I’ve found many people who do have acces to such food chose junk over it, time and time again. Why?

This is due again to complacency. Consciously, we all know that such actions (and they really are just examples) lead to poor results in the end. In this case, it leads to earlier onset of diseases and overall poorer health. Another example would be to watch TV during all of one’s free time, leading to few accomplishments down the road.

We all know that, yet, the consequences are far away, and as a result many people fail to acknowledge them. Since they are not happening now, who knows, maybe people flat out deny it will happen to them. That’s how the human brain works, after all, and actions with immediate rewards and no experiences punishment will be repeated. For a long time in human history, it was not beneficial for the brain to take into account long-term consequences. Maybe it just stored the knowledge of them somewhere in the back of our minds, the forefront being filled with more important priorities such as getting pleasurable experiences. For a long time, itworked, but it doesn’t anymore.

We often blame teenagers for thinking they are invincible, but harmful behaviors certainly aren’t exclusive to this group. Don’t be like these people who act recklessly and just brush it off when reminded that it’ll come around. Acknowledge your actions bear consequences that can actually harm you down the road. No one is invincible (yet).

Anti-Complacency

The third approach: The one who fights

There is of course a third way to live life: acknowledging a reality, along with acknowledging it is problematic. This is the path less travelled by. The implications of going down that path are huge. It is a way of life and, if you adopt it, it will guide a very big proportion of your future actions.

This approach is essentially a fight. You see the problem like a bigger or smaller monster you want to take down. Whether you want to attack a big monster, and maybe a few small ones in your life, or you prefer to go for as many small monsters as you can, the choice is yours. But something is common to all the anti-complacent: whatever they choose, they choose to fight.

When others say things like “such is life”, they ask why. They seek for a way it wouldn’t have to be. They are curious and stubborn. Some succeed, others don’t. But one thing they have in common is that they never stop questionning.

They are also courageous. It takes guts to get one’s hopes up about something that might never come true. It also takes a heck of a lot of wanting that thing, badly. There is always the significant chance of being let down, and that would hurt terribly. But for the anti-complacent, it’s not trying that hurts the most. It’s that combination of traits that makes for an anti-complacent person.

Training the traits

The aforementionned traits come into play in the process of being anti-complacent. Down below is a scheme to illustate them coming into action:

You can anti-complacent about a number of things in life, from the small things to the very big ones. For example, you can be anti-complacent about your marriage being unhappy.

Instead of telling yourself: “Such is life, everyone ends up getting one one another nerves at some point when they’ve lived together so long, it’s invitable.”, you could admit to yourself that you do not want to be stuck in an unhappy marriage. That is acting with courage.

Then, you would seek for the root causes. Is your spouse the wrong person for you, or can the problem be solved with just a few small changes on both your parts? That is curiosity.

Finally, you would seek for a way to eradicate the root causes, not matter how much work that means. This is stubbornness. You can apply this method to all areas of your life, whether it be fitness, relationships, money, job, or life goals. That’s why it’s so impactful.

But how do you catch yourself being complacent? You have to be intentioal about it and build sytems for yourself because, if you’ve been complacent all your life, it will not happen spontaneously. An example of such a system would be to start planning your week. As you do that, ask yourself about one thing you would life to change this week, or work towards changing. Use the feeling of dissatisfaction as a guide. Where does it come from?

Then, include in your plan some action items to get to this goal of change. You will rapidly see progress. The more you are anti-complacent, the more easily it comes.

But which changes should you start with? Should you begin by searching for new ways to cure cancer, or by getting fit? I would suggest you start with the changes that allow to make bigger changes better. For example, it you’re healthy, you’ll have more energy throughout the day, and more money and time down the line (saved hospital fees and time spent in the hospital). This will increase your capacity to make the next change. Bottom line: start with the change that increases you capacity of making the next change.

I’ll give you an example from personal experience so you can see how it works into action. Not long ago, I was frustrated because it always seemed like I lacked time to achieve everything I wanted to achieve during the week. I wanted to change this. I searched for possible causes of it by tracking how I was spending my time. It turns out around 1h30 per day was spent making myself food and eating it. That means 10 and a half hours a week! This was because I was not meal prepping. Everytime I was hungry, I would have to cook myself something on the spot without thinking through the proper quantities (instead of batching that task, which is more time-efficient), or look for ready-to-eat options, which were few. Inevitably, I would find myself hungry again a couple hours later, and start over again. Now, instead I take 2 to 3 hours a week to meal prep, and it saves me at least 7 and a half hours a week to do something else.

Conclusion

It’s really a shame that our world even in this day and age seems to be plagued by complacency. Imagine the problems we as a society would avoid if complacency was a thing of the past. Imagine how much further ahead we would be if innovation was encouraged instead of discouraged, and if more people dared to challenge the status quo. After all, this is how progress happens. And if you want to be a part of its drivers, anti-complacency is the way to go.

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